21/06/2026
“Even though I have this idea of myself as this quiet, observant, thoughtful child, which my parents roundly contradict. They claim that I was loud and bossy and dancing all the time.”
~ Carrie C**n.
To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe….. and observe I did•
…..and so eventually, with time, I learnt that some of the best teachings that I received from my peerless teacher, Kyabje Domang Yangthang Rimpoche, were non-verbal in nature - through the mere act of observation. I remember mentioning this before in some writing too, that the most vital learning’s - those that helped me figure out some crucial doubts I had in my mind, were just by remaining vigilant and learning to connect the dots.
For instance, I learned that my teacher had recognised only 3 reincarnates in his lifetime - all belonging to his lineage and it was no coincidence then, that I met one of them only (almost immediately) after my teachers Parinirvana; even thought he lived just a couple of hours away in the next town and is my husband’s relative! It seems now that this was fated - as if to “fill in the void” for the time being, before I moved onto what was ‘divinely preplanned’ by my teacher.
The lesson here was : Observe. Understand. Adapt. Accept. Let go.
When the student is ready the teacher will appear. When the student is truly ready... The teacher will Disappear.
~Tao Te Ching•
When my beloved teacher decided to take leave from this earthly realm discarding his aging physical body, little did we realise then, the signs and indications he so clearly demonstrated to us in preparation for the next phase of our lives.
Needless to say, with our deludedly clingy bent of mind, what could have actually been a beautiful lesson on impermanence turned out to be a traumatic, hard, painful, incomplete, abrupt and a somewhat fearful process. We felt orphaned to say the least - and it was exactly during this period of turmoil in our lives, that Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi Rimpoche graced us with his candid presence - it felt uniquely different, a breath of fresh air to be precise; everything seemed so very different and yet everything felt strangely familiar.
Looking back at the period of trauma that my teachers Parinirvana had caused us and me in particular, I now clearly understand how the timely presence of Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi Rimpoche at that specific moment, helped us in more ways than one, and I began to vaguely understand the concept of nondualism and detachment or non-clinging.
I had never seen or met Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rimpoche, the predecessor of Kyabje Yangsi Rimpoche in person, and though I did stop to look twice, maybe thrice sometimes, at pictures of Rimpoche’s kind, charismatic visage wherever there were framed pictures of Rimpoche anywhere, it was not until my teacher Kyabje Domang Yangthang Rimpoche narrated anecdotes about him that fine afternoon at my maternal home -when I realised how much Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rimpoche meant to my beloved teacher (elaborated in my previous article).
“You can't connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”
~Steve Jobs•
One of the most valuable teachings I learned during this transition period personally, (by mere observation of ofcourse), was that we as lay people really do have some unrealistic expectations of our teachers. We have this made up idea in our head, of how and what our teacher should be like, without so much as giving them a chance to express or prove themselves to begin with. For instance one close disciple of Kyabje Yangthang Rimpoche recently joked with me : “if the ‘Yangsi’ of Kyabje Domang Yangthang Rimpoche does not take to you or recognise you at the first meeting, he is definitely not the Yangsi” - the pressure on the poor soul! Can you imagine that- even if it was just a harmless joke?
Therefore my encounter with Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Yangsi Rimpoche was the teaching that was so essential to me at that specific time and exactly what I needed too. I began to understand with much profundity that it would be unreasonable of me to not only “expect” the reincarnate / Yangsi of my beloved teacher to be familiar with me at our first encounter (whenever that may be) but that the opportunity to serve him as I had earlier hoped, would probably also be a distant dream.
So instead, I began to inculcate a sense of gratitude so vast, I managed to readily let go of all hopes of an encounter altogether.
I began to offer gratitude for having known Kyabje Domang Yangthang Rimpoche at close enough quarters for Rimpoche’s attendants to trust me enough and leave me to care for Rimpoche alone - whether it was at a hospital in Siliguri or at our home(s) or that of a jindaks (disciples), when Kyabje Rimpoche was invited for certain events or ceremonies in and around Gangtok. I am grateful to have known Rimpoche for a major portion of my life (since I was barely 5 years old!), along with my family members who were there for Kyabje Rimpoche through all of Rimpoches initial ordeal - right up till the time that Rimpoche was much publicised and venerated during his latter years.
However, inspite of the all the recognition and fame in the later stages, Kyabje Rimpoche taught me one of the most important aspects of life - when we as a family went through a period of distress. Keeping everything else on hold, Kyabje Domang Yangthang Rimpoche gave us his unflinching support and guardianship (through it all), and I was most fortunate to learn the priceless lesson on samaya, thamsig, loyalty, integrity and commitment - firsthand•
“You only lose what you cling to.”
Guatama Buddha•
Ofcourse, I still make aspirations that should we meet someday, it should be as organically as our previous meeting, but if not, I am now quite alright with that too.
Maybe Rimpoche’s Yangsi will benefit many more people unknown to us or me now - those who have absolutely nothing to do with me nor remotely connected to me at all. Maybe Rimpoche’s Yangsi will eventually find his own set of people for this lifetime to help him carry on the legacy in his own ‘new’ unique way, alien to what we knew of his predecessors or Rimpoche’s very caring, thoughtful ways.
Sometimes, it seems as if lay people like us, fail to understand that Rimpoche’s and Tulkus (having taking the vow of bodhisattava), thought they maybe the ‘same old soul’, they may also most likely choose to benefit sentient beings differently- in a manner and nature so varied from their predecessors, that we were/are so used to - disparate and distinct, maybe even to an entirely separate section or group altogether and rightly so - don’t you think?
In the mean time all we can do is offer our pure intentions and aspirations for the best outcome for our Lama and that all sentient beings slowly discover and unravel the blissful state of Vajradhara in the core of their being 🌈
What can a good guru do for you? Maybe he can teach you at 20 what you can only understand at 60 and save your 40 years! Well, what can you do to someone who saved your 40 years? You can save someone else's 40 years too, and the goal of a good guru is everyone's salvation, and you pay off your debt by serving that purpose!
-Mehmet Murat ildan•
💎 ༄༅། །དིལ་མགོ་མཁྱེན་བརྩེའི་ཡང་སྲིད་ཨུ་རྒྱན་བསྟན་འཛིན་འཇིགས་མེད་ལྷུན་གྲུབ་ཀྱི་ཞབས་བརྟན་གསོལ་འདེབས།
Prayer for the Long Life of Dilgo Khyentsé II Kyabje Urgyen Tenzin Jigme Lhundrup
by Trulshik Rinpoche
ཨོཾ་སྭསྟི། །རབ་འབྱམས་སྲས་བཅས་རྒྱལ་བའི་ཐུགས་རྗེ་དང་། །
རྨད་བྱུང་རྩ་བ་གསུམ་གྱི་བྱིན་རླབས་ཀྱིས། །
རྗེ་བཙུན་བླ་མ་མཁྱེན་བརྩེའི་གཏེར་ཆེན་པོའི། །
བསམ་བཞིན་སྤྲུལ་པའི་ཟློས་གར་མཚུངས་ཟླ་བྲལ། །
ཨོ་རྒྱན་རྗེ་དང་རིས་བྲལ་མདོ་སྔགས་ཀྱི། །
བསྟན་འཛིན་འཇིགས་མེད་ཕྱོགས་ལས་རྣམ་རྒྱལ་བའི། །
ཞབས་པད་མི་ཤིགས་རྡོ་རྗེའི་ཁམས་སུ་བརྟན། །
ཕན་བདེའི་བཞེད་དོན་མ་འབད་ལྷུན་གྲུབ་ཤོག །
✨🪷🌈🌹🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼💎🙏🏼🙏🏼🌹🌈🪷✨
Sarva Mangalam Jayantu 🌈
