10/20/2026
A lot of husbands and wives don't like each other. They tolerate each other to accomplish a goal.
The goal is "hold things together while the kids are here"
But inside each person, they are suffering. They long for connection, affection, and intimacy. They share space with the same person everyday for decades but feel incredibly lonely.
No more dates. No more s*x. No more flirting. No more random friendly conversations... Just silence and tension.
And many times the reason they tell themselves and others this happens is "to focus on the kids"
No time to dates...the kids. Too stressed and tired for intimacy... the kids...
But zoom out 20 years to when your kids are adults and they are choosing who they spend the rest of their lives with. Who will they pick?
They will choose someone who is "normal" to them. What's normal to them?... What they saw for 18 years.
A husband or wife that makes the other feel loved and chosen, or neglected and lonely.
Will they have a high standard for who they say YES to on a second date? Or will they settle for someone who makes them feel worthless, because that's what they know.
They will feel safest in the relationship they know the best.
So what are you creating for yourself and for your children's futures? What do your children see everyday?
Logistical business partners who can't stand each other? Or two people who chose each other and every day choose each other over and over again.
Think about what you are really doing for your kids when you neglect yourself and your marriage... "in the name of your kids"
Getting them to soccer practice is important. But giving them a model for a happy marriage and strong family is vastly more important.
Chris Rodack